Laura's Blog, April 16, 2009

I've been thinking for a few weeks about restarting my blog. For those of you who weren't with me during my year in the breast cancer underworld, I blogged daily, sometimes several times a day as I went through diagnosis, surgery, chemotherapy and radiation. My entries were full of light, rage, graphic details of life in the underworld, musing, funny stories about family life. When I finished my treatment, I stopped blogging. The need to write about the journey was gone. And my family was ready for some much needed privacy.

Tolerating the Undone

 As I’ve been preparing to restart this blog, I went back and reread some of the writing I’ve done in the past year since I last wrote on my Carepages blog. I’ve decided to post a few of those entries, mostly written last June, before I move back into the present day.

Most of them chronicle my week at the Commonweal Cancer Retreat last June, an incredible experience that I think is worth sharing with you here. I dedicate them to Jane, a radiant, vulnerable and lovable participant in that phenomenal week, who died of cancer this past March, nine months after our retreat.

Commonweal, June 2007, part I

 Saturday, June 14^th

In just a few days, I am going to the Commonweal Cancer Program, an intensive 7-day program for people with cancer. The Commonweal Program is the premier program of its kind. It includes group therapy, bodywork, massage, yoga, sand tray work, art, writing, discussion of topics like death and dying, complementary therapies and the meaning of cancer in our lives. Claire, who has cooked for my retreats when I’ve taught writing at Commonweal, is the chef, which means we will be feasting on incredibly healthy and delicious, beautiful organic meals all week. I’m a little nervous about going, but glad for the opportunity to really focus on what this year has meant to me, and how I want to live now. 

Commonweal, June 2007, part 2

 Tuesday, June 16, 2008, 9:30 PM

 I’ve just finished our first full day at Commonweal. The first thing that comes to mind is the three mind-boggling meals we were served. For breakfast a buffet: oatmeal cooked with fruit, choice of two organic vegan non-gluten cereals (I had one and it was delicious), hard boiled eggs, stewed fruit, rice milk, soy milk and organic cow’s milk, three kinds of bread, a toaster, butter and three varieties of nut butter: peanut, almond and tahini. Lots of fresh and dried fruit. Yogi tea, a blend made with varied spices, vanilla, cinnamon and maple syrup…no actual tea, but incredibly delicious with a little milk in it. I drank it all day.