Next week is my first ever "Writing as a Pathway Through Grief, Loss, Transition and Change" retreat. I was inspired to create it after my mom died in July of 2014, when I was awash in grief over her death and the launching of our last child from home. They say that teachers always teach what they need to learn and that seems to be the case for me--I write about what I need to write about and I teach what I need to learn. In a couple of days, one of my co-teachers, Nancy London will be flying in from Santa Fe, and I'm working through my long list of logistical pre-retreat preparations before she arrives--making nametags, figuring our roommates, finalizing the schedule, getting back in touch with Commonweal for final arrangement, starting to pile my personal gear in a stack in the living ... [Continue Reading]

BUILDING THE CONTAINER One of the most important things about creating a powerful, transformative retreat is building a safe environment in which the work of the retreat can unfold. That's why for an intensive writing retreat--one whose goal is deep writing and internal work--the setting is so important. It's one of the reasons I love teaching at the Commonweal Retreat Center in Bolinas so much--it's the perfect container. The most critical aspect of building a safe container is confidentiality. I have a very specific confidentiality policy that goes beyond, "What happens at Commonweal stays at Commonweal." Writers need to feel that their words will be respected, that they won't be judged or given unasked for advice, feedback, praise or critique, and that they have complete control ... [Continue Reading]

OVERPLAN, THEN LET GO Over the past two days, Nancy and I have sat and talked through the different phases of our upcoming retreat. We've divided the retreat into three sections: Grieving, Uncertainty, and Transformation, since these are the rough stages involved in integrating major life changes. During the first two days, we'll do everything we can to normalize grief and loss as natural parts of life. The middle days will be devoted to the dark night of the soul--the time our lives come undone and we feel adrift, lost and uncertain. And the final days will focus on integration and the birthing of something new out of what has been lost. We will stress to our participants in the opening ceremony that things are never that tidy in real life. People coming to this retreat are ... [Continue Reading]

Today is a day to do last minute errands, to put a vacation message on my email and to do the same on my phone. This afternoon, Nancy and I will have to figure out how to fit our suitcases and all the materials I like to bring to retreats in a car far smaller than the big old Mommy van Karyn and I finally unloaded this fall. I'll be getting a necklace repaired, my car washed, paying a few last bills. So I do have some things to check off my list--not of them essential, all optional--and we already had a magnificent walk to the beach this morning. After dinner, we'll probably kick back and watch a movie at home tonight. I like to have a day of rest before I teach a big retreat so I come into the space feeling refreshed and grounded. Now the preparatory phase is over and I eagerly ... [Continue Reading]