Laura’s Blog, April 16, 2009

I’ve been thinking for a few weeks about restarting my blog. For those of you who weren’t with me during my year in the breast cancer underworld, I blogged daily, sometimes several times a day as I went through diagnosis, surgery, chemotherapy and radiation. My entries were full of light, rage, graphic details of life in the underworld, musing, funny stories about family life. When I finished my treatment, I stopped blogging. The need to write about the journey was gone. And my family was ready for some much needed privacy.

For months, I was in a state of grace. Each day, I was grateful for the little things–tasting food, being able to walk, carry a bag of groceries, cook a meal, teach a class. Every time I passed another milestone on the calendar, I’d remember how incredibly sick I’d been the year before.

I was so busy being grateful that I didn’t notice how fully the landscape of my life, particularly the internal landscape had changed. But now I am noticing. A few months ago, I joined a post-cancer support group that meets every other week. When I saw how much I looked forward to those evenings in a circle of women who knew, I realized just how much life after cancer was a journey, too. Even though I looked the same on the outside (or in my case, better than I did before my diagnosis), I was not the same person on the inside. The new landscape is what I hope to explore in this blog.

I hope you enjoy coming with me on this journey.


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