I remember wondering why the hell I had agreed to do this. But I knew why. Because Lizzy wanted to. Because I work hard to please my children. We were on a mother-daughter bonding trip to Costa Rica and riding horses to a wild mountain waterfall was one of the few things Lizzy had asked to do. She’d been totally disappointed when she found out she wasn’t old enough to ride ATVs in the jungle. So how could I say no to riding to a hidden waterfall in the rain forest?

There are times when my ability to forget unpleasant experiences is an asset; other times it is a real drag. This time, when I said, “Sure we can go,” I was forgetting the other time I had gone horseback riding in Central America.

Twenty years ago, Karyn ... [Continue Reading]

Today I got up, wide awake at five and spent the next hours catching up on mail, class registrations, sorting through all the literature we brought home from colleges and buying a big expanding folder to keep it in. I went to the grocery store (always my way to land) and made dinner. Eli has spent the day with Ashley and they been happily ensconced doing a little of this and a little of that all day. They're watching a movie now and I'm waiting for it to be over to give her a ride to our designated meeting point with her parents--the barn at UCSC. These two live very far apart and neither one of them got their driver's licenses when they could. Apparently, they're not unusual. It's a demographic trend--kids putting off getting their driver's licenses. I can't imagine it. I practically ... [Continue Reading]

I set the alarm for 5:30 this morning. Went to bed after midnight. We were careful to quietly organize our things and bring our giant suitcases downstairs. But then I realized I didn't have the car keys. I took everything out of my purse twice. Then a third time. I looked in the car. I went upstairs and searched the room--even though I really hadn't unpacked anything. I tore up the bed. I searched the bathroom. Charlotte woke up and she started searching. She woke up her brother and he checked his pockets. Charlotte searched her purse. Then Eli reached in his pocket and announced, "I have the keys!' He's unloaded the trunk of the car and never given them back to me. On the way to the airport I started humming. This isn't unusual. It's a trait passed down from my father to me to Eli ... [Continue Reading]

It's the last night of our trip. We went out for a great Tibetan meal in Marblehead and ate yak dumplings. It took us three hours to make it to Marblehead. We alternated between NPR and right wing radio on 90 heading east. My dad introduced me to right wing radio when we went on car trips, and now I'm passing the tradition on to Eli. "You've got to know what the other side is thinking," I told him. We arrived in Marblehead around six. Charlotte and Alan live in a large wooden house built by a ship captain; the whole house feels and looks like the inside of the ship. Charlotte's brother, Charles, a painter, is here on a visit from Florence, Italy where he runs a painting school. He's lived abroad for more than 30 years. Alan was our cook, and a marvelous one at that--a delightful ... [Continue Reading]

Last night, Robin cooked some incredible curried chicken on the grill. She made a tandoori marinade made with a recipe from her deceased husband. The three of us sat outside at a little round table and ate sweet, spicy barbequed chicken, salad and roasted naan. Robin started regaling Eli with stories about when we met and how we met at conference and did workshops on sexual abuse and trauma together, back in the years when The Courage to Heal was in its heyday. She started telling him stories about how famous I was 20 years ago and what an incredible impact The Courage to Heal had in starting a whole social change movement. “Did you know your mom started a whole social and political movement?” “

 “No,” he replied.

“Do you know the impact her ... [Continue Reading]

I'm starting this post from the waiting room at the Admissions Office of Amherst College. Eli is sitting across the room, writing an english essay. He sat in on an advanced chemistry class while I visited the financial aid office (Amherst is the only school we visited that offered a meeting at financial aid--and I can see why--they have a generous, transparent financial aid program--what you see is what you get. It was a very educational meeting, to learn how financial aid works and to see how all the factors fit together.) Eli came in from his class. "How was it?" I asked. "I didn't understand a word of it." "Do you want to sit in on something else this afternoon?" "No, I'm done sitting in on classes." He opened his laptop and started on his homework. "Do you want some ... [Continue Reading]

Today, we went to two schools that are very different than the ones we’ve seen so far. Northeastern is located right in Boston. It’s a huge school that focuses on learning by doing. Classroom time is balanced by work in the real world.

After saying good-bye and bidding a fond thank you to Mindy and Andy, Eli and I made our way through thick Boston traffic to Northeastern, where we had definitive proof that GPS systems can fail. Gladys (that’s what we call her) guided us to the Northeastern admissions office by instructing us to turn on to one tiny alleyway after another, until I unwittingly found myself on a sidewalk parked in front of the admissions office with stanchions in from of me, students walking all around the car, pointing and gesturing at us, a clear ... [Continue Reading]