Personal Ad

“You were last seen walking through a field of pianos. No. A museum of mouths. In the kitchen of a bustling restaurant, cracking eggs and releasing doves. No. Eating glow worms and waltzing past my bedroom. Last seen riding the subway, literally, straddling its metal back, clutching electrical cables as reins. You were wearing a dress made out of envelopes and stamps, this was how you travelled. I was the mannequin in the storefront window you could have sworn moved. The library card in the book you were reading until that dog trotted up and licked your face. The cookie with two fortunes. The one jamming herself through the paper shredder, afraid to talk to you. The beggar. Hat outstretched bumming for more minutes. The phone number on the bathroom stall with no agenda other than a good time. The good time is a picnic on water, or a movie theatre that only plays your childhood home videos and no one hushes when you talk through them. When you play my videos I throw milk duds at the screen during the scenes I watch myself letting you go — lost to the other side of an elevator — your face switching to someone else’s with the swish of a geisha’s fan. My father could have been a travelling salesman. I could have been born on any doorstep. There are 2,469,501 cities in this world, and a lot of doorsteps. Meet me on the boardwalk. I’ll be sure to wear my eyes. Do not forget your face. I could never.”

— “new york craigslist > personals > missed connections” by Megan Falley

 Write your own personal ad. As Megan Falley did, make it nothing like the stereotypical offerings we see on the back pages of our papers or online.

Comments

  1. Barbara Keller says

    Jewish girl, Christian woman, too chubby for modern times, looking good for the mid 1700’s, needs music, conversation, Mexico, the one who died 40 years ago. Need someone to fix the water pump, who can provide two horses, six chickens, two goats, and four rabbits, my young mom, my nice dad, when he was nice, an education in which I could ask questions, and more time to dance. If you like yourself, like to laugh, and aren’t looking for a nurse, mom, provider, and can tolerate some left over hostility, please write.

    • Deborah Blair says

      What a wonderful, passionate journey of images. My heart moved up and down and through past/present joys and wounds as I read it. Thank you. Could we meet for coffee in my back pasture, facing the mountains? Watch the clouds and the eagles floating as we sing to each other through our hearts?

    • Ilana says

      Barbara- Nice job! You made me smile at the list of needs. It made me very curious about who died 40 years ago. Thanks for posting this. IM

  2. Fran Stekoll says

    Slightly used chick. Loves family, friends, pets and convertibles. Gets lost with wine. Sentimental poet with lengthly romantic thoughts. Sings in the shower and the car. Doesn’t look her age thanks to “Oil of Old Lady” Open to negotiation for travel destinations. Could live on an island . You cook? I’ll cuddle!!!

    Midnight conversations in nightshirt with night cap OK. Listen to the silence then interpret dreams. Birth sign match a must. Hard top convertible a deal breaker. A few extra pounds due to no smoking, limited exercise (except in bed) and belonging to bottle of the week club. A wrath of information available for who to call for what you need and travel guide.

    Easy to be with, cruising, schmoozing or sitting in silence. Flowers accepted on a regular basis. Hugs a must. Massage and or showers together. An only child who’s lonely, over “Fifty Shades of Grey.” Ready to share snorkeling in Hawaii. ride an elephant in Taiwan, or camp in Africa.” Sometimes I’m bubbly, sometimes blue, just accept me as I am- Cause you’re a YO YO TOO!!!”

    • Terry Gibson says

      This is wonderful, Fran! I read it aloud and loved the sounds of the words and humor. So you “keeps dem guessing” with Oil of Olay? I sometimes hear that ad in my head, especially the first time I skeptically picked up a bottle to see what was so magical about it.. I especially loved “You cook. I’ll cuddle” and “… just accept me as I am Cause you’re a YO YO TOO!”

    • Polly says

      I’ve been meaning to comment on this one all day. It made me smile when I read it, sitting at my desk this morning. I like your no nonsense attitude and approach. Thanks for starting the week off with a laugh!

    • Ilana says

      Awesome, Fran! I love the opening. The gently self-effacing humor was wonderful as well as the naughty allusions. Both of those have to be handled carefully but you had the perfect mix. I enjoyed reading it. IM

    • Diana says

      You had me from the beginning with “slightly used chick”. I love the “oil of old lady” and “gets lost with wine”. Good job.

    • Judy says

      Fran, Love this ad. Oil-of-Old-Lady–I’ll never again see that product on the shelf without thinking of your fun ad. Thanks for making a gray Midwestern day shine.

      • Diana says

        I caught a glimpse of this product in Target; thought “oil of old lady” and laughed inside. My daughter asked me why I was smiling.

  3. Laurie M says

    Like playing Quantum Suduko and I keep putting the numbers down, maybe even the right numbers, like a dot-to-dot to find you but then when I look away the answers all become possibilities instead of actualities and I have no way to know which path is right because I missed you, I know I missed you, I can feel it like a haunting, like an echo from years ago when I made one choice and maybe you made another and so we could never quite have had that possibility of just coincidentally being in that same café that one night, in that one class, on that one hike, we were never that friend-of-a-friend I think you should meet.

    But I know things about you anyway, I know you used to play your guitar a lot more than you do now and I’ll know your voice just as soon as I hear it the first time and I know you have red hair because it was either that or you were my Indian man—like I told Shane when we were perched on the ledge over the Grand Canyon sipping Baileys—but I’ve already met him and he wasn’t you, and I know you wonder, too, about your wonderful life and your children’s eyes and how you feel you should hate yourself for wondering how they’d look if they had a little bit of me in them instead of the better genes they got, but you don’t really hate yourself you hate that you don’t know, you don’t know how to reconcile that thread of longing, not knowing my name, not being sure if maybe you’re just crazy instead.

    But that thread is all we’ve got, and I promise you when I see you across that lobby with the bright sun making us squint and the sky is just too blue or in the back of the dark bar when you said you’d be home twenty minutes ago or in line at the pool waiting to buy your kids shaved ice—I promise I won’t shy away, I won’t make you doubt, I won’t think you’re crazy, and I won’t make you leave your family, I wouldn’t do that, I couldn’t. All I want now is this thread to find its end, to know your name, to see all the way to the bottom of your eyes, to etch it against the heartline of my soul so next time I’ll start with better clues to find you again.

    • says

      Hi Laurie, thanks for this. I loved the rush of words, you just dove into this prompt! I added a few line breaks just to make it readable..it’s so hard to read a giant block of text online.

    • Adrienne Drake says

      Dear Laurie M,
      I totally enjoyed and related to this, especially at the end where you say, “All I want now is this thread to find its end, to know your name, to see all the way to the bottom of your eyes,to etch it against the heartline of my soul so next time I’ll start with better clues to find you again.” I wish I had written this line. Haven’t we all had the experience of feeling we just somehow missed the right connection, and want to be sure that we never, ever miss it again?
      Thanks,
      Adrienne

      • Laurie M says

        Thanks, Adrienne. So glad to hear you could relate! It is odd and challenging to live with ghosts of parallel lives, but I try to not let them take over.

    • Judy says

      Laurie, Creative stuff, here. Quantum references in the opening graph and a little string theory in the last graph. Lovely words. Thanks and come back.

  4. PJ says

    Cutting to the chase and just putting it out there! I’m a bit lazy & sort of guy that wants as much out of life as it does of him, willing to bring humor and a few practical talents to the table in exchange for some humor, beauty and talent. Constantly looking for something new and exciting… maybe there all along but unnoticed or unappreciated. Seeking the company of a gal that has life of her own but needs more than some favorite TV shows and coworkers, grandkids and friends to talk about or worry about. Serendipity is the operative word here. Combine the here and now with our interest and experience to discover something new and fun.
    (this is somewhat reminiscient of the song 30 years ago where the boyfriend wrote a personal ad that his current girlfriend answered and the both found out they were stretching the truth!- PINA COLADA. Hard for me to come up with anything close to Megan’s style too).

  5. Adrienne Drake says

    Curious chick lately sprung from the responsibilities of a working woman workaholic into the world of infinite possibilies. Looking for that late bloomer of a guy whose innocence will match her idealism despite the fact that we just pulled out of Iraq and, excuse me, where are the Sixties, but did anybody notice? I am ready to make my grand stage entrance after thirty years of nose-to-the grindstone helping work and caring for others, mixed of course, with a little (no~a lot of) post-retirement psychotherapy to make me oh so ready, at long last, for you.

    Are you out there, perhaps recently also sprung from a life of conventionality, one that you, in all of your goodnessm never once stopped to question until she handed you divorce papers at 4 AM and said, “Our daughters are grown and this isn’t what I signed up for?” My daughters are still unborn.. I never had a chance.

    Will you, Charlton Heston, or whoever you may be, starring in your own Agony and Ecstasy, please roll the dice and take a chance with me? I’m waiting.

  6. Jennifer Ire says

    A small package is delivered and when opened quiet resounds loudly enough for the universe to take notice. Inside you see – an ordinary being. Really! Who can tell from looking? No one. I emerge and smile, a no fuss, nothing big kinda smile. I wait for you to speak and I listen carefully but more carefully I watch. I like to read the story the eyes tell, they are more real than the lips. So I watch and smile knowing that I will speak me soon. We could go deep you and I.

    • Ilana says

      Nice job, Jennifer- I loved the drawing you made. It was sweet and gentle. I used to be a small package. Actually, that’s what my husband used to call me. Thee kids later, I guess I’m more of a medium package. ;) IM

    • Judy says

      Jennifer, A lovely poem and this line…. ‘I like to read the story the eyes tell, they are more real than the lips.’ WOW. Beautifully crafted. Thanks you.

  7. Terry Gibson says

    I have to ditto Laura, Jenny. I love your ad and can see you reading it too. You captured yourself so beautifully! Hope you are doing well.

  8. Nancy Schoellkopf says

    River seeks Companion

    I am a well-traveled river stretching from the Sierra Nevada to the Pacific coast. I am a resilient river accustomed to twisting turns, peaks and valleys. I am a gentle river, soft with cottony tule fog, fragrant with fennel and mint. But I am a lonely river because men think I’m out of their league. They are stunned by my beauty: green ducks in my hair, golden hawks on my shoulders. I am mysterious with hidden depths. Don’t be afraid to dive in. Don’t let rumors of rapids and whirlpools scare you off. I can quench your thirst and carry you to the ocean on my back. I can give you the ride of your life.

    • Nancy Schoellkopf says

      Thank you all for your wonderful feedback! Easy to be sexy and exotic when you pretend it’s fiction. I’ve been so touched by all the genuine emotion expressed by this prompt! Feeling blessed to have landed in this community! Thank you again–n

    • Diana says

      mmmmmm makes me want to kayak the river; or take a camping trip on the river’s banks;
      I loved the vivid imagery. I can feel the fog and smell the mint.

    • Judy says

      Beautifully crafted, Nancy. Very Taoist–the use of nature; fennel and mint, I was hooked. Very sexy, luscious, as Laura said. Thank you.

  9. Ilana says

    Laura- Awesome prompt this week. I really appreciated the lighthearted, sometimes comic responses it drew from people. I don’t know if mine will be that easy to read. I’m going to write straight from the heart and see what comes of it. Thank you Laura and thank you everyone for the wonderful smiles you all drew from me. I really needed them this week. IM

  10. Hazel says

    Seventy-something cyborg seeks companionship with someone who loves: strawberries; watching slow sunsets; strawberry cheesecake; sizzling in the sun on the nude beach; cool strawberries and brown sugar; reading good books; strawberry shortcake; good music any genre; strawberry fru-fru; scintillating conversation; fresh strawberry ice-cream; breakfast in bed; fresh strawberry jam on toast; romantic dinners, strawberry daiquiris; shopping at the mall; strawberry slushies; wandering walks in the woods; strawberry mousse; writing Laura Davis’s “writing prompts; strawberry wine; taking pictures; strawberry crepes; old movies and did I say loves strawberries? Meet you in the strawberry patch with strawberry martinis.

  11. Judy says

    PERSONAL AD (my homage to some favorite artists)

    You know the mighty differences of Leonards: Skynyd and Cohen…
    And, relish urban riches
    ……………………………as well as country roamin’
    Soooooo, if clinging causes suffering
    …………………………….resonates with you…

    And……grasp how luscious cuddling fosters GABA GOO

    Let’s fly……..NO………dance on down to the
    ……………………………………………………….zoo
    Cuz….I gotta a brand new pair of roller skates……you gotta get some too.

  12. Ilana says

    Wanted: One Older Brother

    Wanted: One older brother. Physical appearance is of little consequence but applicant must have a hard chest and strong arms to encircle me and protect me from all ghosts; old and new. Ability to respond emotionally and with empathy is a must. I require shoulders that can absorb an ocean of tears and carry the weight of the world when it becomes too heavy for me to bear alone. And time. You must have time and patience to listen to me pour out my sorrows for as long as I need to talk. Be gentle, kind and don’t ever judge me. Above all else you must be loyal. You’ve got to be on my side. Devil’s advocates need not apply.

    This is not an easy job but the rewards are tremendous. What you will find in me is a fiercely loyal and devoted little sister. I have a strong positive attitude and a tenacity that has, more than once, turned the “impossible” into “mission accomplished”. My capacity for love and compassion is boundless. I never take anything for granted and I am proud to call generosity my defining characteristic. If there is something you need I will walk to the end of the earth to get it for you. If you think you can handle the job and are worthy of the rewards I’d love to hear from you.

    • Polly says

      That was heartfelt and beautiful. Anyone would be lucky to have you as their sister, and I hope you hold out for the best.

    • Judy says

      Ilana, What a beautiful and sensitive ad: straight from the heart/mind and soul. Along with the ad you’ve sent out to the universe why not sit in the dream cafe tonight and see who is there with you. A big brother, maybe? He would be very lucky to find you.

    • Terry Gibson says

      Ilana, this stirs me on the deepest levels. I can’t imagine any good and loving man who wouldn’t want to be that big brother you so yearn for; I feel it too. If you find that guy, please let us, your extended family, check him out because we are protective and love you so!

        • Terry Gibson says

          Kleenex? Yeah, I need ‘em too. By the way, when I say ‘we’ I don’t presume to speak for anyone else–other than the Terry you know and my half-dozen alter egos. :)

    • Ilana says

      Thank you all. I was touched by your replies and will carry them with me. “Anyone would be lucky to have me for a little sister.”??? What a gift! Thank you, again. IM

    • Hazel says

      Makes me feel how lucky I am to have a great younger brother that is wise, helpful and gives me great hugs. He is reticent to say that he loves me but every once in a while I catch him by surprise and he says it. That makes my day.

    • Debbie says

      Ilana – I have been thinking of your post since I read it a few days ago. Having read your work here for many months, this piece made me smile and shed a tear. I love the warmth you bring to the description of your desired brother, so tender. And I feel the longing behind the words. Thank you for sharing this “want” with us.

  13. Diana says

    LOST to history. One African-American female a.k.a. “Black” or “Negro”. Current wherabouts unknown. Known only as “Matilda” surname unknown. Physical description – “light skinned”; other physical attributes unknown; no photograph available. Birth date unknown, death date and circumstances unknown; burial records – none; no marriage, property, bank or voting records found. Most likely born into slavery; mother of three – children also born into slavery. Children took last name “Baker”.
    Last documented location, Northern Louisiana in 1855 as “Free Woman of Color”.
    Post tips or clues to whereabouts at: Facebook/seeking matilda
    twitter #desperatelyseekingmatilda
    or visit my blog at wordpress/whereismatilda

    • Polly says

      I’m intrigued. I think the historical context is fascinating and I also want to know more about this Matilda. If she ultimately was free (or “free”) then she probably fought to reach that point, so her story needs to be told. Really looking forward to hearing more!

    • Terry Gibson says

      Diana, I find this strong and intriguing. I want to know this story, the woman, and everything in between. I’ve read it a few times now and continue to feel a strange stirring of emotion. The words are weighty and mysterious. Thank you. Sure hope to know more some time. You have an eager audience. :)

  14. Suzanne says

    REWARD:

    Lost Self.

    Last seen running around taking care of others. Has a tendency to be easily distracted. Typically wears tee shirts and jeans and disheveled hair.

    Known to frequent busy, hectic community events and meetings such as church groups, girl scouts, and PTA.

    Not easily containable because of her propensity to attach to the whims of the daily weather. Especially if there is North East wind (Blowing towards extended family areas.)

    Has been spotted running through the market with a screaming toddler to get baking supplies for a child’s birthday cake. Has also been spotted screaming at her toddler for interrupting the cake decorating process. Prone to screaming matches in her head with her husband during children’s birthday parties.

    Please call authorities immediately if you see someone matching this description. She would like to get her Self back. She (and her family) will be grateful and will reward you appropriately.

    • beverly Boyd says

      Suzanne,
      This gave me a good chuckle. Maybe because it could have described me…back in the day!
      Under neath all the commotion I’m sure there is a very effective, multi-tasking self holding it all together. I’m glad you find time to share on the roadmap!

    • Diana says

      I think you describe me, Suzanne. There might be alot of suspect in that line up. Sounds like myself and a few moms I know. Very funny

    • Judy says

      Suzanne, Both laughed and cried as I read this wonderful piece; ahh, yes, takes me back to the day. Hope you can squeeze in a little bubble bath with chocolate and ginger?

  15. says

    Driven, creative woman seeks freedom from all of her good ideas. She is looking for a place to burn her to-do list, rip off her clothes, and sing! If you know of a place where she can get a daily infusion of mindfulness, awareness and stillness, order her a triple venti. She seems to be unable to order it for herself.

    • Polly says

      You just nailed my Starbucks/Life order. Maybe I’ll make mine a quad this time. I very much like this one, and I can relate!

      • says

        Diana, I once came upon my cousin who was throwing a huge party out in the woods where she lived on top of a mountain. I hiked all the way up the mountain and there she was fretting over her to-do list and all the things she hadn’t done. I took her list and burned it in the wood stove and she felt so much better! We still laugh about that, thirty years later.

        • Diana says

          I am learning to “burn my to do list” space each day for the things I love and for the things that are important. Most of the things on my to do list are of no eternal importance.

    • Ilana says

      Oh I like this! Awesome images and the last line was so beautiful. “She seems unable to order it for herself. “It was a plea and an expression of humility. It kind of gave me permission to ask for help too. Thanks for posting it! IM

      • Diana says

        hhahahahahah that was so funny. The dogs think I’m crazy as I sit her in bed my hair in a messy bun, glasses on, coffee in non-mouse hand; laughing my ass off

    • Judy says

      Laura, love the link! And, simply can’t resist adding: I’ll take a triple with a chocolate/cayenne pepper truffle, kick back and read this classic:
      Why I Want a Wife by Judy Syfers (1971) A wickedly humorous introduction to the sex roles defined by conventional marriage.

      • Diana says

        chocolate cayenne pepper truffle – another combination I have never tried;
        Never heard of the book but the title tells me everything I need to know. Since it was writtten in 1971; I would have to say that yes I want a 1950′s type wife. She would probably already have the dishes done; the laundry sitting in my chair folded; another loaded started and the beds made. Oppps. I think I just made my “not to do list” for today.

  16. Gayle says

    Forever Friend–elephants never forget. I am the Runaway Bunny, you know how to bring me home. Our lives crisscrossed for 50 years. You held the space for me to grow while holding the hope we will grow old together. I am on a solo journey yearning for connection. Is it in front of me? Do I dare jump in?

  17. Polly says

    Wanted: someone who can hear the scream inside me that won’t come out, and who responds accordingly. Someone who has a touch so gentle that I am haunted and simultaneously comforted by that, forever. Someone who makes me feel as safe when I get home as I did, on that couch, in that office; or at that staff party wearing that small black dress. Someone who would never yell at me, never call me a bitch. Wanted: someone who sees me. Do you see me?

    • says

      Polly, this piece really yanked at my heart. But of course, what came to me is that we have to do this for ourselves first, before anyone else can do it for us. And yes, there are people in the world who can and will see you and treat you gently and with love.

      • Polly says

        Laura, I think this deserves its own reply. You (and everyone in this thread after you) tapped into something I’ve been working on, but I had no idea it was that obvious to the world. I’m working on giving myself that love. It seems to be a journey of sorts. I really appreciate being safe here to explore pieces of it. Thank you.

    • Polly says

      Laura and Diana, thank you. You’re both right, of course. Believe it or not I was planning to write a fun piece this week! Anyway, I already have that person 99% of the time. That other 1% can just stand out once in a while. I get picky sometimes. Thank you so much for your comments.

      • Diana says

        That’s the cool thing about these writing prompts. What ever comes up is whatever comes up and this is a safe place to honor that in our writing. Even if pieces of us have faded to the background they are still part of us. All of it makes for a rich personal story. Thanks for sharing yours.

        • Polly says

          Diana, I’ve been meaning to reply to this. That was well said. I really appreciate the lack of judgment and the safe space that everyone here provides. Thank you for your kind words.

    • Judy says

      Polly, Ditto to what Laura said. When we can call up that thing called self-love….the triggers don’t take on such power and the safety is felt more deeply…just remember what Leonard Smiley said…”I’m good enough, smart enough and dog-gone-it…. people love me.” Blessed be.

  18. Terry Gibson says

    Multi-faceted, passionately-aloof woman, lover of foreign accents (or bad copies of same), known to do stand-up comedy in front of dozens, and then be dubbed the ‘quiet one,’ seeks a fellow human being to adore or enjoy the following:

    Silence for days on end. Then, without warning, will burst out singing. Who knows what and who knows when.

    Still laments a long-gone and sordid affair with–yes, I’ll say it–the common daily mail. Pupils still dilate and hands shake at the mere thought of a single piece. Envelopes were big and bright—canary yellow, green like lime, crimson red or a subtle mauve; others were small, plain and too easily labelled junk. With my index finger, I fondled the uneven textures and traced the edges of overseas stamps, much like a bride would her new diamond. Like a bloodhound, I sniffed out the hidden contents–sandalwood incense, perfume, cigarette and cigar smoke–all on paper I could clutch! Please note: If found missing, especially between six and noon, I might be found rocking, shell-shocked, and conflicted in front of a vacant box. Fiercely loving trees, but mourning I cannot shred the age of paperless mail.

    Slaps yellow, pink and blue post-its all over the house. Each will bear odd or dramatic quips. Pneumonics, boasts, endearing toasts, and yes, even bad poetic notes. One laundry day, my jean pockets concealed three bits of scratch: (a) #ThatAwkwardNight in the Amazon rainforest, us soaked and entangled in mosquito net, and it was only monsoon eve, when not a leaf was wet.” (b) To lust … or not … to fuss? and (c) Forget about tweets; let’s do some proper greets.

    Other unusual skills. I can balance a high and heavy pile of books, atop a single stapler. This sent exes running and screaming straight to the pharmacy for hair dye. How can it possibly be? My workout routine is simple: shadowbox for ten minutes, swing twenty lb. dumb bells every direction for six, and jog on the spot for five. I do all of this within ten inches of my books and not a page will flutter. The millisecond my lover casts a glance over that way, the whole tower erupts with a thud.

    Don’t take offence, but all future love interests must abide by this one. Never, and I mean never, in public or at home, wear neon green spandex tights. I don’t care how taut your body or why it is you like ‘em. If you violate this, I’ll snub you like a skunk. Fortunately, however, you have a choice and can heal, or so said Bob Marley. “… In this bright future, you can forget about your past ….”

    See? Wow. Sometimes, I make a valid point and nail a whole line of song all in one go. Good times.

    Here’s more. Don’t miss it. I grow too. A spandex-snub or post-song relapse, won’t last forever. In fact, if I wander into another favourite hobby, you might drop to your knees and pray I go mute.

    Three nights a week, I attend a court-ordered, twelve-step program for ‘Reading Exhibitionists.’ On that damned podium, I pay for my pheromone-soaked prose. I promise the entire audience, with lies bristling the fine hair on my neck, how disgusted I am with my actions. Psst … write me a teacher’s note. Keep me home a meeting night; our rapture I swear will soon delight.

    “Climbed a mountain and I turned around.”

    Yep. Like Stevie Nicks, we’ll be doing lots of that. We’ll wring Travel out for all its worth. Pinch Change rosy between clenched fingers. Then we’ll top it all off with a slap on its cute little hiney.

    I mean it. You had better be ready. We will ride elephants, camels, buses, bikes, trikes, trams, red sampans, and of course, each other.

    Hop aboard a Paris train, to cross the Swiss border at night. We collide together against the dark, locked in a stranger’s room, into which we ducked on a whim. With muffled giddiness, the heat and friction between our bodies is dewing the window. Dazed, we hover, while somewhere in the distance, a Conductor raps in staccato-like bursts, “Excusez-moi. Excusez-moi.” It stopped. Okay, it wasn’t real. “Vite, s’il vous plait!” he yells. Excuse you? Hurry? Still starving, we think, one more hour, and stay clenched in a sweaty vice

    Feed me kiwi slices, crackers crumbling with feta cheese, cubed pineapple, tea, cognac, coffee, wine, raspberries and dates that melt when popped in my mouth.

    Whisper me sexy in husky voice. Recite me salacious tales in ragged breath. Let words rush and drop like fat grapes off your tongue. Say the scant thought of me besmirches your lovely self. And that you wouldn’t have it any other way.

    Not for your “Little Tiger.” Did I mention a lover once called me that? If you hear any gossip toward that end, don’t give it a thought. I swear now, like I did then, I stopped taking those shots—or at least will tell you so, each time we lock ourselves behind a door.

    Finally, if you’re prone to an easy flush, an ‘us’ there’ll never be. I’m of Celtic descent, you see, and forever rosy-cheeked. I never needed facial blush and that’s clear if you see my pathetic, poor self while completely embarrassed. If you are even slightly prone to this, as a couple, I project an enduring mess. Imagine us at a party: we’ll look like a pair on verge of a stroke. Trust me. Veins people fear will go pop in the night, will not lasso us again, a single good invite.

    And while I wait for us to meet, I’ll just be “… sittin’ here watchin’ the wheels go round and round. I really love to watch them roll.”

    • Terry Gibson says

      P.S. If anyone knows a paper that’ll post this ad and pay me a thousand dollars, please let me know. That could be the person I’m seeking. :)

    • says

      Awesome, just awesome, Terry. I hope you had fun writing it and that your heart isn’t pounding too hard now that you’ve posted it!

      I loved the line, “We’ll look like a pair on the verge of the stroke.” That was laugh out loud funny. And even better, I could hear your voice, the Terry I know, shining through every single line.

      • Terry Gibson says

        Thanks, Laura. I had a wyld time writing this. It was strange because I told a dear friend upon reading this prompt that I couldn’t do it; it made me feel sad. Once I started, that fell away fast. Enjoyed myself so much… Grrr. Meeting time. Again?!

    • Judy says

      Fantastic, Terry. What a fun read. I can’t choose one line over the other it’s all so wonderful. Okay, so now THAT wheel song is imbedded in my head for the rest of the day….and that’s okay by me.

      • Terry Gibson says

        Judy, I appreciate your words. I will sing That wheel song today, but may add Cowboy Junkies and Phillip Phillips as well. Curious. What other wheel song might stick in your head?

    • Debbie says

      Terry – what a fun romp through past, present and future memories and dreams! Like Laura mentions I could hear your voice delivering this piece with your unique inflection, and maybe just faintest blush on your cheeks. This piece is funny, passionate, quirky, brave and self-effacing. Perhaps just like you?!

      • Terry Gibson says

        “Rumour has it …” But it’s filed under Fiction, so it really must be. No one would misfile the truth, ya think? If I read THIS fiction, would you run up this time and steady my hand, so I don’t 86 a laptop? :)

  19. Chris Reeves says

    Free to a good home:
    Buyer beware:

    Most of the good stuff your parents warned you about, your discomfort at actually discussing feelings, free-range, no preservatives, slightly used, shabby sheik, does not require excess stuff, encouraging you to be a better person for its own sake, trusting, admits mistakes, lets you learn things on your own, runs on unique blend of coffee red wine and education,
    “Can we…?
    “Yes.”
    Tex-Italian mix, loyal, clean, good with kids, house trained, would rather be outside, sailor vocabulary needs improvement, enjoys other nerds and is a real people person. No TV. No religion.

    *Comes complete with current operators manual (English – audio version) and birthday surprises. Follow instructions carefully. Hilarious offers only.

    *Side effects may include: insomnia, toe –curling, vertigo, distractions at work, fatigue, integrity, dignity, love, conserving natural resources, calm discussions about disagreements, divulging deep feelings before you’re ready, respect, oral fixation, feminism, idealism, restored middle-school sense of humor, resourcefulness, reduced plastic consumption, colorful friends, community, sense of belonging, genuine equality in/out of bed, long-lasting smile, sense of adventure, occasional pillow forts, acceptance of quirks, wanderlust, more than you want to know about science, and friendship.

    If not sure he is right for you, see therapist before engaging.

    Offer valid only while supplies last. Void in Canada or Texas.

    • Chris Reeves says

      Laura,

      It was difficult to come up with an ad that was unlike what we often see. A busy week has only allowed me the head space for something like a pet-adoption-furniture-medication-Craigslist personal ad. This was a challenge. Thanks.

      -Chris-

    • Hazel says

      Chris,
      Love your line: “Void in Canada or Texas.”
      Been there, done that, swore NEVER AGAIN! But then who knows what kind of offer I may get on my own ad?

      Thank you for this one.

    • Diana says

      I liked the “Free to a good home” surplus puppy ad style to your ad. In the side effect section I like the “restored middle school sense of humor”.

  20. ~Karen says

    Rolling in the Deep

    There is an energy field. Meet me there. Just in time. Or better yet find I’ll be waiting at the bottom of the ocean beyond all this. Below the surface where others stop only to admire their own reflection before moving on. Come. Let’s make waves. Free fall. Bring dark chocolate and champagne bubbles. Take a deep breath. Breathe deep. Dive deeper.

    She

    Once bitten now bites back with honey and can withstand hard knocks with bounce. Owns wild hair, honest eyes, listening ears, webbed toes, broken open heart with fertile cracks where flowers and feelings grow, can see in the dark and fly broomstick.

    He

    Must haves: sixth sense; roots; X-ray vision; bottomless well of heart; bullet-proof mind; flame-resistant; sixth sense;strong arms and wings.

    Desirable: absolutely

    Benefits: beyond our dreams

    On this relation ship, pirates and stowaways are welcome.

  21. Debbie says

    Not Yet Ready For Prime Time Player
    (anyone remember that comedy troupe?)

    An appropriate comparison as they sometimes absolutely hit the mark, and other times completely lost the audience with inside jokes or by being obtuse. That would be me(!), as I slowly emerge from the shadows of a composite past . ( Or should that be composted past?) Consorting with ghosts of those no longer present and holograms of virtual friends.

    You will feel my presence long before you actually notice me. A little deeper breath, a slight loosening of those tight shoulder muscles, a growing sense of being welcomed and, maybe, in the new possibility of taking a risk teasing along the edges of your mind. I will notice that in you, and smile, content to bring the energy. Enjoying the company of others who are open to personal growth and positive energy.

    Compelled to immerse myself in the sensuality of natural beauty; the gentle breeze’s caress, lullaby of the ocean waves as they greet the mighty bluffs, warmth of the setting sun on the skin, or the exquisite bouquet of a fine wine. Yet trembling at just the possibility of a lover’s touch – past rejection and pain still embedded like shrapnel in my flesh and bone.

    A lover of words; their cadence, form and flow whether spoken, sung or written. Known to intense flights of fancy brought on by a well-turned phrase or stanza of melody. Exploring, with great pleasure, those syllables still trapped in the inner reaches of the undiscovered mind. Savoring the fear and longing of bringing them forth – and – sharing with others.

    Still vacillating between new journeys of self-discovery after decades being part of “we”, you will find vast cauldrons of ambivalence about the future, or even tomorrow. Seeking a companion who can be content in the present, patient with the past and remain hopeful about the future….

      • Debbie says

        There is an old saying – a problem well-defined is half solved. Developing this week’s post was difficult for me and – once again – enlightening as well. Knowing what you are looking for enhances the chance of attaining it.

    • Terry Gibson says

      My heart sings as I read this, Debbie! So elegant. Poised. Curious. Scared. You, yet so much like me. Revealing the woman and friend I value so much. Sending you a Huge Hug and love. :)

    • Ilana says

      Absolutely lovely, Debbie. I think Terry put it best. I, too, found this piece elegant and poised. I LOVED the imagery. That I will feel your presence long before I actually notice you. So beautiful. I do remember the not yet ready for prime time players. Nice reference. May I repeat myself? Loved your piece. Thanks for posting it. IM

  22. mariah says

    Looking for a woman who is willing to lend time and conversation to an inverted soul struggling yet fascinated with identity. My hand reaches out to other feminists and perhaps a dancer or active spirit to guide my gentle hesitancy into moving around in this world. Must not be deterred by an insatiable potty mouth, constant chain-smoking, and a tendency towards long conversations. I welcome someone who shares a curiosity and wonder for life, and who also understands its prickly underbelly with compassion. Someone who wants to share her dance through our human experience with a loyal friend, gentle companion and an admittedly introverted, doe-spirited thinker who is prone to tears in the presence of unexpected acts of kindness.

    this is my first prompt and I hesitated to post it, but here goes! I am excited about this great and loving writing community. :)

    • says

      Mariah, welcome to the Roadmap blog and thanks for taking the plunge. I hope to see you here again and again. Thanks for sharing a little piece of your heart.

      • mariah says

        thank you so much, Laura! I went to your March monthly writing class and really enjoyed it. These weekly prompts are a great way to keep writing steadily!

    • Terry Gibson says

      Mariah, this is exquisite. I wish for you this loving soul to help you peek around you even more. In the meantime, I hope you are awash in gentle and attentive kindnesses. To me, that’s always the best hug and nurturing lifeline ever. Welcome. I’m so happy you are here and thank you for this post.

  23. Diana says

    I like the the line”who understands it’s prickly underbelly”
    Welcome to our warm writing community.

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