The Truth of My Life

“What would happen if one woman told the truth about her life? The world would split open.”

–Muriel Rukeyser

Tell me the truth about your life—right now, today, this moment.

23 thoughts on “The Truth of My Life”

  1. The truth about my life is I did not know how true love felt.

    Many people love me, I know.

    This seven year olds little girl was crying to feel the unconditionnal love required to live a relatively balanced life and feel secured to go out.

    Until now, I was living in a bubble, running after everyone to offer my love, friends, family members, lover. But still I would feel this emptiness that spiritual books are writing about, hoping to discover the truth from other’ s saying.

    Today, without the words, I feel what this emptiness is composed of.

    I did not know how to love, from other people perspectives. But others would come to me for the joy I had to live.

    There was a lie sitting within me about how joyful I appear to the world.

    The truth is today, I am reconnecting with my whole truth. The sad truth and the joyful truth of being alive.

    Up to now, my life has been very suffering. I feel a fatigue inside me. I am running away from it. The good news is that today, I stop running.

    I walk slowly to make sure I will hear my truth everyday and act accordingly. It is a promess I make to myself.

    Claire

    1. You just gave yourself the best prompt of all–for writing and for life: “Up to now, my life has been very suffering. I feel a fatigue inside me. I am running away from it. The good news is that today, I stop running.”

      Bravo. Keep standing there, facing whatever is in front of you.

      1. Laura, thank you so much for the opportunity to read and right and Explorer oneself. This post expresses the place I find myself at today most of the time, though I’m diligently working to revitalize my spirit. You are all gifts to me thank you so very much for voicing my story with all of its pain and Triumph and lessons and blessings. What an inspiration to honestly voice my feelings out loud to myself and to read yours and somehow find Healing. I am truly in all

  2. I have seen every kind of evil. That is true.

    I am older than I thought I would live to be. That is true.

    I am loved so deeply and well that sometimes I’m unsure if I can bear to be still and feel the warmth and the slow rising of joy. That is true.

    After all the years of torture and then all the years of pain and therapy and moving about in a world I thought I would never fully comprehend, and then the years of finding my place, my voice and my skill, I have arrived at a peaceful place.

    I still have days of dark memories but I know they will pass. I still have broken moments and scars that limit my movement, but I know there will be understanding and that limping into reality doesn’t really divide me from humanity.

    Long ago when I was released from hell, I could not get warm, even in the hottest sun. Today I feel the warmth, even in the darkness.

    Today, the truth about my life is that one can heal, and I have. The truth about my life is that I am, more than anything else, grateful.

    1. Ivy, welcome to the Writer’s Journey Roadmap. Thank you introducing us to your healing journey. I loved the hope and growth expressed at the end of your post:

      “Limping into reality doesn’t really divide me from humanity. Long ago when I was released from hell, I could not get warm, even in the hottest sun. Today I feel the warmth, even in the darkness. Today, the truth about my life is that one can heal, and I have. The truth about my life is that I am, more than anything else, grateful.”

      Keep coming back.

    2. Tony del Zompo

      I think there’s a memoir in the making that I’d like to read, Ivy. But whether or not you choose to write your “story,” you’re in a good, safe place to explore the craft.

  3. Tony del Zompo

    I had wondered whether or not I should respond to this prompt. After all, I’m not a woman. And I’m also not a member of any marginalized group in the United States. But I remembered an experience that I had last summer and felt compelled to share some truth of my own.

    When my friend Deb invited me to attend a talk by Marianne Williamson last summer, I was excited. Although I am only vaguely familiar with her work, I anticipated a lecture on spirituality and relationships. I had no idea that I would be attending a political rally.

    Ms. Williamson went on about women’s anger, the current White House administration, and the systematic incarceration of African Americans. After half an hour, I leaned over to Deb.

    “WTF?” I asked.

    “You know she ran for Congress, right?”

    “No. I didn’t.”

    I don’t offend easily, but I did resist the urge to walk out several times during her talk. At the end of the lecture, Ms. Williamson took questions from the audience, and although I wasn’t certain what I would say, I approached the stage. While I waited, a young woman two places ahead of me in line stated that she had moved in with her father after college because she was broke. When she complained about the “negative male energy” filling the house, the words came.

    “There’s a reason male energy becomes negative. When we aren’t seen for whom we are, we have two scripts, anger and passive aggression. I’m a heterosexual white American male. I suppose I have nothing to complain about, am I right?”

    I heard a collective gasp from the audience behind me. Ms. Williamson literally turned her back to me as she spoke into the microphone.

    “No one is saying that.”

    “Fair enough,” I continued. “But it has been implied here tonight. Here’s my question. Why is it that women have such a hard time holding the space for a MAN who falls apart?”

    Again, I heard a gasp from the audience, and when Ms. Williamson gave a “pat” answer about a man who over animates his “feminine” side pushes a woman into her “masculine” side, I tuned out. What I heard was that it’s feminine to cry.

    I wasn’t sure how many people I had offended, and I was shocked when my friend Eileen, a gay black woman, gave me a high five as I passed her on the way back to my seat.

    “I am SO proud of you, baby.” She said. I was confused, and my confusion grew as another black woman in attendance came and shook my hand and thanked me after the talk.

    I recently learned that white men lead the statistics for addiction and suicide in America. If we have it so good, why do we feel so bad?

    My truth is that I have been a judgmental son of a bitch for the majority of my life, but in the past year, I had an epiphany… EVERYBODY deserves compassion. Even the hate filled and the ignorant. Maybe especially them. How much trauma does a person have to endure in order to learn to hate?

    When we can finally see the humanity beyond the gender, race, religion and sexual orientation, when we can recognize that everybody is carrying a heavy load, then maybe we can help to lighten one another’s load. Or, at least, hold the door open as someone passes…

    1. A very important question, Tony: “I recently learned that white men lead the statistics for addiction and suicide in America. If we have it so good, why do we feel so bad?”

    2. Tony, I truly appreciated your prompt as I was questionning myself today (in writing) about my relationship to man and how I could establish a better balance in the couple to build more true love.

      How can I demonstrate to the man my heart will choose more compassion and be more supportive without feeling trapped or be afraid of this latent anger that you were describing so well. This anger and passive agression destroyed me more than once.

      I am afraid of the dark side of man.I know men are not all the same.

      it is true to say that the feminine side of a man pushes me away in my masculine side. And I have, I had a big part of my personnality who is very masculine, because I am a survivor.

      So, for me today, letting my supportive, understanding and compassion sides (i am practicing in my daily life) to better understand what a men needs. To know that, I have to get close. When you get close, you discover darkness and light of the other person.

      When I recognized and love, accept both darkness and light that resides within me and work on destructive mechanisms (destructive for me and others), I feel compassion for my self. That is what I want to share with others. I am feeling the same fear opening up to a man from that spot.

      Expand compassion in relationship is Work.

      Claire

    3. Tony I am so distress that you did not have a good experience with Miss Williamson. I have only known her to be about Spirit light and love.

      when I first read your post the last few lines struck such a chord with me I wanted to respond but felt my voice had no import.

      this story of my life is that I had just opened a door for a gentleman who was much worse off than I am physically the night before. as has been the case with me since I was turned on to the road map, is that my understanding of self and my life is healing Which is freaking awesome!

      Nice to know you Tony!

  4. Wynne Preston

    The Truth of Me is that I get an idea in my head (like the one below, which is something I just wrote) and then, like a cat taking over your pillow while your sleep, the idea takes over my brain until I have to stop and write it down. It is both fun and annoying as hell. For instance, I was going to skip this week’s entry simply because I have so much to do, like clean the house, but then I discovered where all our hotpads had been hiding, burried under clean clothes and towels no one bothered to put away, and my brain sang to me: “Where have all the hotpads gone?”

    The Housecleaning Song
    By Wynne Preston

    Where have all the hotpads gone, long time passing?
    Where have all the hotpads gone, check laundry room.
    Lost to parents, everyone
    When will they ever learn? When will they ever learn?

    Why does milk go “kerplunk” when poured into the sink?
    Why does milk go “kerplunk”, long time in bedrooms?
    Lost to starving children everywhere
    When will they ever learn? When will they ever learn?

    Where have all the ants come from, go go away!
    Why do they like our shower, where’s the bug spray!
    Lost to nature, all of them.
    When will they ever learn? When will they ever learn?

    The Truth of me is that I wake up with shame and depression most every morning, but I am getting much better at reminding myself that I’ve done nothing wrong.

    The Truth of me is that right at the point where I think I’ve overcome something, I end up peeling away another layer.

    The Truth of me is that I’m beautiful and amazing, and that I can’t wait to peel away more layers and discover more of this Truth.

  5. This is the truth of my life – right now, today, this moment” – that I find myself being pushed towards the precipice of a mountain or at times towards the edge of the shore.

    And it scares me. I feel so alone and weak.

    Lately you see, a confluence of several factors is challenging my inner peace. Things that just came up unexpectedly, without warning.

    Some are things I can control — like in the area of work and finances – but I keep procrastinating. I know I should be actively doing something to change the tide of uncertainty. Yet something deep inside keeps holding me back.

    Am I losing my self-confidence, my faith in my skills and capabilities?

    Like I know I can write well, but when I see the requirements of the different writing jobs I have been browsing over, it seems to me they are too much for me to handle. So I’m afraid to try and commit.

    Then the opportunity to travel overseas, and to the US at that, presented itself in the form of an invitation from a brother of mine for a short family visit. Yet instead of feeling thrilled, fear keeps tearing me at the seams.

    Why? This bothers me so much.

    For one thing, I dreaded the long, tedious process of applying for a tourist visa, including appearing at the embassy, only to be rejected in the end. Anxious to be given a visa, I worry things may not work in my favor, especially as it will be my first travel ever out of the country.

    Then I also hate the idea of traveling across the continent to another all by my lonesome. While others will see this as an adventure of a lifetime – here I am beset with negativity.

    But despite all these unpleasantness I feel – I still choose to keep an open mind and be grateful for the call to be more self-reliant and brave.

    This is what I see behind all this – that God is putting me in the place to grow myself in a special way at this point in my life. I have to get rid of all the what ifs, the shoulds, my expectations and desires – and just forge deep into myself to unleash my inner resources and power as I face the great task ahead of me.

    God is pushing me to the edge of the mountain, so I can learn to fly and spread my wings. God is leading me to the shore, so I can learn to swim and navigate the wide ocean of possibilities and make good decisions.

    In other words, it is time to get out of my comfort zone and see the world beyond my own.

    I just pray that God guides me with His Strength, Abiding Love and Peace, so I can overcome whatever challenges I now face.

    1. Marichu, good luck with you journey. May you find the courage, the strength and the hidden support that is there for you along the way. Life outside the comfort zone…is where we feel most alive.

      1. Thank you so much for your encouraging words, Laura! “Life outside the comfort zone…is where we feel most alive — ” what a timely reminder and inspiration…thanks again, all the best.

  6. The truth of my life, right now, this moment, is that my life is full and fat with the trimmings of family love and hard work. My life is rich with the many tasks that keep me and my family thriving. I have much to read. I have much to write. I have much to learn. I have much to do.

    The truth of my life is that my mind is on fire, I am generating big-picture ideas that could bring me and many others security in the long run, for the long run.

    The truth of my life, right now, this minute, is that my busy-ness fulfills me. I feel loved, appreciated, and known.

    The truth of my life, right now, this minute is that I choose to live fully in this moment, any moment, all moments, I am here. I can see, feel, taste, touch, and smell life all around me and I am so very alive with vibrant energy.

    The truth of my life, right now, this minute, is that I am simply grateful.

    1. I like the line about your life being “full and fat with the trimmings of family love and hard work.” Happy for you.

  7. 6/1/18, 8:22 am:

    The Truth of my life right now, in this moment, is that within me is a tumultuous ocean, swirling with fear, Clint Eastwood and “the wave” that you see going through the seats of a crowded stadium as I am trying to psychicly cheer my daughter on and pump her up. For she is mentally preparing to tell her story to the detective. The story that was reported to the police on May 5th. For pretty much all of May we’ve been in limbo. I know that, when it comes to criminal investigation, a month is not that long, but trust me, it’s been a lifetime. At 9am my daughter gets to speak her Truth, and it’s about damn time!

  8. The truth of my life is that my soul is on fire.

    the truth of my life is that my voice is lost.

    the truth of my life is that I connect with the beautiful words and images out of the mouths of strangers in a way that soothes my soul and Comes The Angst of the future that lies in front of me even though I don’t try to look there.

    the truth of my life is that I am blessed with the gift of recovery and the universal principles of love which gives me the courage to accept Grace when it is handed to me., or offered to me.. I’m still learning that gift, the gift of one Soul allowing another soul to offer assistance to give than to receive.

    The truth of my life is that I am incredibly blessed.

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