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Anticipation: 5 Days ‘Til Bali

June 1, 2013 By Laura Davis 15 Comments · · · · · · Read & Respond

My favorite part of getting ready for this trip (aside from picking up a very thick wad of brightly colored Balinese rupiah at the bank) has been saying “no.”

For the past few weeks, I’ve been divesting myself of obligations and saying no to new work, new projects, new requests, and new ideas:

“No, I’m sorry, I can’t read your manuscript.”

“No, I’m sorry, I can’t meet with you.”

“Oh that’s a really good idea, but I’m going to have to pass right now.”

“I agree. It’s unfortunate that you just joined my class and now I’m taking the summer off. But I’ll be back in the fall.”

“Call me in September about that.”

“I’m not interested in doing that any more. I’m moving in new directions. I’m sorry.”

“Look, if you want to do that, go right ahead. But I don’t think it’s going to work, and I don’t want to be part of it.”

“I haven’t decided if that’s something I’m going to continue. Check back with me in the fall.”

In the midst of saying “no” to other people, I’m well aware that the person who requires the biggest “no” of all is myself. All those wonderful, creative ideas that I always seem to have—the ones that seduce me, but require 80 hours of work to manifest—I’ve started to say no to them, too.

It reminds me of the time I went to visit my hippie cousin, Miriam. This must have been thirty years ago. At the time, Miriam and her family were living way up on top of a mountain in Boulder Creek on a piece of land called Omland. Every spring, they had an annual party, and all of us—family and friends—would hike 1/3 of mile, pretty much straight up a mountain to get there. Miriam would be waiting up top with a ladle full of water, to “water the guests” as they arrived.

One year, I arrived early to help, and Miriam was running around panicked, her to-do list clutched in her hand. She had to carve the little triangles on top of the watermelon boat, sweep the dirt floor of the outdoor kitchen, make the fruit salad and add hibiscus blossoms to the punch. There were just too of items on Miriam’s list.

photo credit: Scott Miles Love via photopin cc

“I know what to do with that,” I said. And I took the list from her, lifted the black sooty cast iron lid of one of the burners of their old wood-burning cook stove and tossed the list into the fire. Miriam looked at me in shock and then burst out laughing. “Oh, I feel better,” she laughed. “I feel a whole lot better.”

Now, as my departure looms closer, my to-do list is getting shorter. Even before my official vacation begins, I’ve had more time for friends, more time to read, more time to cook.

I think, “Why don’t I live this way all the time?”

I guess that’s one of the many questions I’m going to have to ponder on this journey.

Filed Under: Bali, The Virtual Vacation Tagged With: Bali, travel, travel adventure, write travel transform, writing retreat, writing workshop

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Comments

  1. Eileene Tejada says

    June 1, 2013 at 12:52 pm

    I am learning the beauty of ‘no,’especially at work. Liberating indeed!!!love this post Laura. It is so affirming.

    Reply
    • Laura Davis says

      June 2, 2013 at 7:29 am

      Well, I guess we just have to keep practicing. NO! Or to be polite, “I’m so sorry. I wish I could. But that’s not going to work for me right now.”

      Reply
  2. Judy says

    June 1, 2013 at 1:28 pm

    Selamat Jalan, Laura!

    Reply
    • Laura Davis says

      June 2, 2013 at 7:29 am

      thank you!

      Reply
  3. leslye says

    June 1, 2013 at 1:39 pm

    thank you for this post. I grapple with the feeling of “rush” every day in my life. i could feel the relief when you burnt that to-do list.
    Looking forward to reading about your upcoming experiences.

    Reply
    • Laura Davis says

      June 2, 2013 at 7:30 am

      Leslye, I’ll look forward to you following–because I know you know Bali and I hope you’ll throw in some of your own remembrances in your comments, too.

      Reply
  4. Maureen Cleary says

    June 1, 2013 at 2:47 pm

    I have learned that my saying no creates an opportunity for someone else to say yes and step into a space of new possibilities-for both of us.

    Reply
    • Laura Davis says

      June 2, 2013 at 7:31 am

      Yes, but there’s that scary limbo in between when the habitual is not there to hold on to–and what emerges? Feeling and thoughts that are usually pushed down and away. For me, it’s the willingness to face those and to question “business as usual” that makes the no hard to say. Momentum is a protection, no?

      Reply
  5. Vicki says

    June 1, 2013 at 9:59 pm

    Laura, thank you for sharing your journey of transformation and discovery from these very beginning moments of your Bali adventure. The mindful preparation is all part of the trip! You inspire me to keep open and be aware of the gifts in everyday living. Blessed travels!

    Reply
    • Laura Davis says

      June 2, 2013 at 7:32 am

      Thanks Vicki, I’m very much looking forward to this journey. Even though I’m not leaving till Wednesday, I’m in effect done with my regular life here as of today. My cousins from London, and their three yummy young children are arriving today and staying till the day of my departure…so I’ll be having a few days of a staycation with them revisiting some of my favorite things to do with young kids in Santa Cruz. And then….bon voyage!

      Reply
  6. Laura Davis says

    June 2, 2013 at 7:33 am

    PS. It’s a luxury to be able to respond in real time to your comments–once I’m overseas, wifi is a lot spottier. Sometimes I may only be able to read your comments and not always respond–but I definitely will get a boost seeing what you have to say!

    Reply
  7. Hazel says

    June 2, 2013 at 10:51 am

    As you prepare for Bali I am preparing for Commonweal. I have that “list” in my head and it is getting longer every day. It is time to put it on paper lest I forget, and that not be a pretty site. 😉 Love your blog. And yes, it is time to say “NO” to lots of things.

    Just a reminder, always keep yourself safe.

    Reply
    • Laura Davis says

      June 2, 2013 at 10:56 am

      Keeping myself safe has sometimes kept me too safe, if you know what I mean. I actually want to take more risks, not less! But yet in the global sense, I will promise to make good choices.

      I’m really looking forward to meeting the woman on the page in person in Bolinas in July!

      Reply
  8. Gayle says

    June 3, 2013 at 10:40 pm

    It is wonderful to let go of all the ‘doings’ and focus on the ‘beings’…and just breathe. I’m glad to be going on this virtual vacation with you, bringing back fond remembrances.

    Reply
  9. Deb Mansell says

    June 4, 2013 at 2:13 pm

    Have a wonderful trip Laura. And thank you so much for creating this wonderful warm and supportive community xxx

    Reply

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Like this Virtual Vacation?

You can also read about Laura’s travels to:

Peru 2017

In which Laura and Karyn and 18 writers explore Machu Picchu and the Sacred Valley of Peru.

Serbia 2017

In which Laura leads a workshop at the Incest Trauma Center.

Greece 2016

In which Laura explores the wonders of Crete and Santorini with a wide-eyed group of Write, Travel, Transform adventurers.

Vietnam 2015/16

In which Laura, who grew up during the Vietnam War, goes to Southeast Asia and finds out what Vietnam, Laos and Cambodia are really like today.

Commonweal 2015

A journey toward healing loss and grief in a magnificent Northern California setting.

Scotland 2015

In which Laura returns to Scotland with a new group for another jaunt through the wonders of the Scottish Highlands.

Scotland 2013

In which Laura attends the Edinburgh theatre festival and leads 14 writers to a magical retreat in the highlands of Northern Scotland.

Bali 2013

In which Laura visits Australia, and spends three weeks diving, exploring, and teaching in three regions of Bali.

Florida 2014

A journey into old age in America in which Laura brings her 86-year-old mother to Florida so she can see her last surviving sister one final time.

Mexico 2014

In which Laura attends the San Miguel Writer’s Conference and explores the artistic towns around Patzcuaro.

About Laura Davis

In the course of my career as a communicator, I have also worked as a columnist, talk show host, radio reporter, radio producer, blogger, editor, and speaker. Words have always been at the core of my work and my self-expression. Read More . . .

Photo taken by Jason Ritchey

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