This past March, as those of you following my blog already know, my partner Karyn and I took my 86-year-old mother, who is frail and suffers from dementia, on a trip from California to Florida so she could see her last surviving sibling one final time. The two sisters hadn’t seen each other in seven years and neither or them thought they’d ever see each other again, so the trip was definitely an act of kindness, a mission of mercy—one that was extremely gratifying for everyone involved. The ... [Continue Reading]
Saying Goodbye for the Last Time
It’s our last morning in Florida. I booked a late afternoon plane so we could get a direct flight home—and not have to rouse Temme for an early morning flight. This morning, Uncle Ben had to go to dialysis and I knew he'd be there for five hours, so I knew I had to say goodbye to him this morning. We shared an awkward hug—I didn’t want to knock him over—I thanked him for his hospitality and told him I loved him. Then I watched him walk with his lopsided gait slowly to the car, listening to the tap-tap of his cane all the way down the long cement pathway. Ben carried a worn insulated lunch bag, the same one he’s carried three ... [Continue Reading]
Pool Party
By the time we were up and had eaten breakfast and Mom had finished her two morning naps, it was 1:00 PM and I was really needing an outing. Lucy was working again today, so she agreed to drive Esther and Mom and I to one of the many pools gracing this complex. I put on my bathing suit and threw a pair of shorts and mesh coverup on top. Then I pulled out Mom's old bathing suit from the bottom of her suitcase. I wasn't sure I could manage getting her in the water, but I wanted to. Mom and Esther had grown up going to the beach at Coney Island, and I'd grown up at the Jersey shore. Our family spent summers at the beach and I associated Mom with a big wide brimmed hat, a bathing suit with a matching ... [Continue Reading]
Morikami Japanese Gardens
Before we left on this trip, Karyn and I were slowly making our way through the Showtime series, Masters of Sex. Every night here, I’ve been sneaking an episode after the house is still. I brought a tiny set of headphones and am watching in secret on my laptop. It helps me unwind after the long, unfamiliar day. My body is still on California time, so I'm wide awake after the elders turn in, though I find myself yawning at weird hours of the day.
This morning, far too early, I woke to the sound of TV blaring from the kitchen. Esther and Ben had told me they keep the TV on about 15 hours a day, and today, I guess, they were getting back to their regular routine—starting the day with the Today Show, like millions of other Americans. I lay in my tiny bed ... [Continue Reading]
